The Art of Give and Take: Avoiding Deception

The Art of Give and Take: Avoiding Deception

Do you ever just feel like, there are far too many 'takers' in this world? And I'm not talking about people that give to those less fortunate or give tithes and offerings during Sunday service. I am talking about people that thrive off your resources, motivation, support, and encouragement, but give none of those affirmations in return. People that leave you feeling completely exhausted, after having an encounter that leaves you stroking their ego. It almost feels their sole purpose in life, is to suck the life out of you. Then when you have nothing left to say or offer, your existence becomes irrelevant. Depressing. Annoying. Confrontational. Well, let me tell you 'givers' something that I've learned when dealing with greedy individuals such as this. In the event, that you find yourself burnout and undervalued, lies opportunity and insight. You're diming your light, because it obviously outshines there's. Today, I made a decision to no longer meet the expectations of those that demand more, without meeting my wishes, desires, or needs. I choose to be that person who decides what insatiable demands will leave me exhausted, vulnerable, or depleted.  Today, I choose to bet on myself. And you should too.

For far too long, many of us have sacrificed our happiness for others to succeed. That's what you do as a 'giver'. It comes naturally and you love seeing people around you prosper. So, you give them every resource they'll need to blend in and teach them every skill there is to ensure they stand out. Maybe you even go as far as investing in them, or breaking bread, in hopes that when the shoe is on the other foot, they'll reciprocate. But to your demise, you've just equipped them to feel as though, they no longer need you. Ahh, except they do. And they will.

If you find yourself having closed and dead-end conversations, and giving more valuable information than is being shared, it's time to start creating boundaries. Because the raw truth is that you cannot make people appreciate you. It doesn't matter how much you've done for them, how far you've gotten them, or what you have to offer. People like this, will continue to take and still neglect to reward you for your intelligence and grace. What used to be followed up by "Thank you" or reciprocity, is now filled with silence and looked at as an expectation.

Don't be oblivious, as this is no longer a 'give' and 'take' scenario. You're dealing with a 'user'. Yes, take a moment to let that sink in. Indulge in the fact that there are 'users' among us. But you're in luck. There lies your power, 'giver'. You're so empathetic that this will hurt you so deeply you'll take a step back to focus on yourself. And you are your best self when you've had time to reflect and recharge. Start unblurring those blatant lines of disrespect and removing the wool from your eyes. You are worth so much more than what you can offer or bring to the table. In fact, you can build your own table, sow your own roots, and knock it down if you deem necessary. Take a chance on yourself and bet on you. I promise you won't be disappointed.