AJ was born 36 weeks' gestation, weighing 6 lbs. and 4 ounces. I had AJ naturally but required Penicillin to stimulate the birth. I originally went into the ER with concerns of lack of fetal movement. I actually went into the ER 3 times within the last 3 weeks before AJ was born due to the same concern. Each time I was told things were fine. I wanted to go and see my regular OBGYN, but they denied me a visit.
My fourth time going into the emergency room the OBGYN monitored the baby for two hours. She then agreed with my conclusion after observing the results and stated it was "against her medical advice for me to leave". I felt a wave of emotions. I had been complaining of this for so long and finally someone was listening to me. I called my husband and my doula and told them it was baby time. AJ took to the Penicillin immediately and I was in labor for 3 in a half hours before he came.
My doula was absolutely amazing, she had the Lavender aroma going with the cold towels around my neck. She was motivating and encouraging, but not the obnoxious kind. She just keeps me on track in the labor room and sticks to MY birth plans, no matter how much the nurses try to push for pain medication. She helped deliver to of my sons and always called me the "birthing goddess". Oh and my husband, I love that man, I am so blessed. I know his hands were tired, but not for a second did he stop massaging me. Wherever I needed him to rub, lay, or squeeze he was there. The best position for me is sitting on the birthing ball with my husband behind me, lifting up my heavy belly and massaging that lower abdomen area. It relieves a lot of tension and weight from the contractions.
When AJ first came out, he was nonresponsive. Even after normal birthing procedures, he still hadn't taken a breath. When AJ finally took a breath, nurses were concerned with how shallow it was. They also had concerns about AJ's "dysmorphic" appearance. He had a small head, recessed chin, mottled skin, clenched fingers, clubbed feet, and malformed ears. He was taken straight to the NICU.
I was in so much pain and things were moving so fast I didn't really understand what was going on. When I finally got cleaned up and settled into my room, my husband took me over to see AJ. He was connected to various medical devices and monitors, indicating the specialized care he obviously required. The nurse explained that AJ had trouble breathing on his own. That his respirations were too low, so he required oxygen. The cords on his chest were to monitor his heart rate, the one on the heel of his foot was to monitor his oxygen saturation, and the tube in his nose was oxygen. Unable to speak, I just watched over my baby.
After some time, my husband and I head back to the room. I could tell Julius was just as confused as I was, but to keep me from becoming an emotional wreck, he'd comfort me. So, Julius and I chatted, joked, recorded our stay, we slept, I pumped and begged the nurse for something stronger than Gabapentin, and later on we went back again to check on AJ. Only now, he had a tube going through his nose. I asked about it and the nurse explained that AJ could not take milk by mouth due to his difficulties breathing. Every time they bottle fed, his respirations would go down and heart rate would go up. Indicating he's not getting enough air. She then encouraged me to try and breastfeed AJ since I was pumping anyhow. I was cautions of that due to all the cords he had attached to him and declined. I wanted to breastfeed, but that wasn't how I imagined it be. As a matter of fact, none of this is how it's supposed to go after birth.
After being in the Mother & Baby ward for 3 days doing the same routine with my husband, it became old. I knew I was going to have to leave soon, but AJ was still in the NICU. I wanted answers, a time frame, an explanation. I wanted to know what in the hell was really going on with my baby. As I became more frantic and emotional on that third day, the tears start rolling. I was such a mess that the nurse finally offered me something to relax without me having to ask. She sends in the birthing counselor who then recommends Zoloft. I guess she knew more than I did. She knew AJ wasn't coming home with me. But at the end of the day, no amount of Zoloft could have EVER prepared me to roll out that Mother & Baby ward with no baby.
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